New Topic

bloggies - sorry for my delinquency in picking a new topic.

this week: going to the doctor.

ORCA: A Killer Movie

keegan came home the other day with a new obsession - the movie ORCA. he says it's supposed to be like Jaws, only better. he says they were made around the same time and ORCA was just overlooked. he called every video store in town with no luck. i say what does that tell you? he tells me to shut up.

he says at this point, it's no longer about the movie - it's about the hunt. he must find it. and, he finally does. so i go to this dinky little video store in killearn and rent the VHS. he wants me to watch it with him. i say no way. about eight hundred times. last night, i gave in.

the movie was made in 1977 and bo derek probably wants to forget she was in it. a shark hunter decides to set his sights on a killer whale, thinking it will bring big bucks from an aquarium, and bo derek deftly foreshadows the tragedy to come: "you know whales are monogamous. that means they have one mate their whole lives. we could be breaking up a family."

the harpoon nicks the male target and hits his female mate. she writhes and squeals. then she swims into the boats propeller in an attempt to commit suicide. when they pull her in, she is bleeding, and then a grotesque mass bulges from her privates, and her young fetus falls on the deck. the male has lost his love and his unborn child, so now, you guessed it - he's pissed.

the female dies, and the male (i call him willy) stalks the fisherman, wreaking havoc on the small fishing village where he lives. he bites off bo derek's leg. he sets the town on fire. the villagers become angry with the fisherman, urging him to go out to sea and "fight" (this is what the whale wants). and, in a cleverly placed dramatic plot point, we learn that years earlier a drunk driver killed the fisherman's pregnant wife. he feels the whale's pain. they are one.

in a moby dick like chase, he follows the whale into icy seas, the whole crew dies, and he falls in the water and the whale waves his great fluke and tosses the man onto an iceberg, crushing his skull. vengeance is willy's.

so, ORCA - Jaws meets Moby Dick meets Free Willy. it's a horror/suspense/drama. but i've never laughed so hard in all my life.

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