Fear Not, Lindsay Lohan

so the topic is fear. i have some petty fears, such as fear of vomit and/or stomach flu, witnessing a plane crash (when i see one in the air i am always certain it is going down), being trapped in my car underwater, and being taken over by andrea yates frustration and tossing one of my children over the railing from the second story of the mall. but the chance of any of these things happening to me (save for the vomit) is unlikely. just don't get offended if you are hunched over the toilet in need of a friend and i disappear to bathe myself in clorox, refusing to see you for at least two weeks.

perhaps all my real fears can be summed up into the fear of exposure. fear i will be exposed for not being as smart as my mother has always said i am. fear that in my english major, i will be discovered for being severely under read and for continuing to use sparknotes.com at the age of 32. fear that, while i put carrot sticks in my son's lunchbox to look good, he will tell his teachers that i sometimes let him eat cocoa puffs for dinner. my inadequacies, my failures, my bad habits, my idiosynchrasies. so much of the way i live is out of the fear of being seen for who i really am.

and what does all this have to do with lindsay lohan? absolutely nothing. that was just a cheap ploy to up my site meter. and if you happened upon my blog by googling linsday lohan, it's time to stop. your obsession is getting out of hand.