it's not that i don't like the dentist. although most recently, while my mouth was propped open with a suction tube resting in my gums, my new dentist took the opportunity to share his political views, pentacostal policies, and fervor for the civil war and how the country would be so much better if the south had won. he fell short of whistling dixie, but what better way to shove your beliefs down someone's throat than when her mouth is incapacitated and she owes you $900?
i told him stonewall jackson was my cousin in hopes of getting a discount but he just called for more suction and a different drill bit.
when i was young, getting a clean dental report card felt a bit like straight As (although i never got those until college). no cavities! good for you! here's a free toothbrush and a toothy character nightlite. but as i got older and my mother no longer scheduled my appointments, the dentist fell to the wayside, as did my dental health. i think this is common. that's what i tell myself anyway.
i mean, i don't have meth mouth. (actually, the billboards in north carolina make me feel better about myself.) but the shame of not going to the dentist made me not go the dentist, and so on and so forth, and on and on and on, and pain in my stomach when i thought about it, and fear of being shamed, and so on and so forth, and then severe pain i could no longer ignore, then a root canal. and a few fillings. and a cleaning procedure that my hygienist compared to pressure washing one's house.
so, $2500 later, i am proud to say i am back to straight As. but i don't like going to the dentist, and i don't like the correlation between my dental health and my mental health. i wish there were fillings for my brain.
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