All I Want Is a Pair of Madras Bermuda Shorts

is that too much to ask?

for some reason, i have chosen plaid bermuda shorts as my distraction from submitting final grades and various other pressures currently in my life. last week i looked in gap and old navy with no luck. today, after finishing my morning's work, i rewarded myself with a trip to the mall.

but wait, was it the tennessee strip on saturday night? no. it was the governor's square mall. i have never before braved the intimidating doors of hollister and abercrombie and fitch, but i had to because they have plaid bermuda shorts. they also have dim lighting, blaring music, and teenagey fashion models with low IQs manning the various clothing stops. i felt really OLD.

i found a pair of shorts on sale at hollister and finally found the dressing room for "bettys" in the maze of palm trees and trendy furniture. the guy opened the door and said what sounded like, "how many?" but i couldn't make it out over the techno rave, so i said, "WHAT?" and he said, "HOW MANY?" and i said, "TWO!" and then i said, "hey, sonny, what color are these shorts anyway? IT'S SO FREAKIN' DARK IN HERE!"

the shorts fit, to which i snub my nose at the teenagey fashion models, but they were tapered in the thigh, to which i say, if i wanted to accentuate my thighs, i would get short shorts. isn't that the point of bermuda shorts, to cover up the thigh in a loose, beachy manner?

needless to say, i found my dream pair at american eagle (and they had the lights on) but they cost $45. my new obsession - waiting for them to go on sale.