Beware the Internet-Savvy 4 Year Old

trevor is quite skilled with a mouse. he deftly navigates web pages like thomas the tank engine, handy manny, and raven pinball. he pounds on the keyboard until he figures out which keys make things happen. thus, lazy, tired parent thinks to herself, how sweet, he's entertained and learning computer and critical thinking skills (pats herself on the back here).

however, this is not a good thing. a few weeks ago, he was playing a nice innocent fishy game on ebaumsworld, a game keegan plays, and keegan and i were watching television. keegan looks over and says, "what the?" he gets up and walks over. "uh, mom? trevor's watching video of sadaam hussein's execution."

the next morning, i walked by the unmanned computer, and there was video playing of two girls kissing. stricter monitoring started.

but this morning, he requested to play table tennis. i could hear the blip sound of the ball going back and forth as i did homework in the corner. all is well. until i start to hear explosions and blood-curdling screams. closer inspection revealed my son playing "staggy the boy-scout slayer II" - and, i must say, he's not bad with a sword. his black-clad, machete-wielding character made his way through the campground severing the heads off the unwitting boyscouts, occasionally slicing them in two. blood squirts, campers scream. trevor says, "c'mon, c'mon!"

maybe he will be a marine someday, or a computer programmer or game designer. maybe the boy scouts are actually evil, and he is fighting for justice. perhaps sadaam hussein's execution was a good life lesson. or maybe kids are one step ahead of us all the time.

now i hear gunshots. i think i will unplug the computer for good, evil box of death.

amish living sounds good about now.