Saturday, February 03, 2007

Fear Continued... and Realized

yesterday i went to a local day spa and had a manicure/pedicure. of course it was lovely and therapeutic, foot and hand massage, lots of pretty, smelly creams and things, and paraffin wax intended to stimulate circulation. i told the lady that she better dip my whole head in the stuff, but she said it was not part of the service.

so, my fear of exposure. contrary to what you might be thinking, it was not a fear of removing my socks and being exposed for stinky feet. when i was finished, my nails were still wet. she told me she'd walk me out, so she grabbed my purse and keys and we headed up front. i thanked her, but she proceeded to open the front door and step outside. i told her i could get it, really, but she insisted. she opened my van, put in my purse, started my car, then put on my seatbelt for me.

if you know me well, you know where i am going. the interior of my van looks like a trash can, school locker, and halloween trick or treat bag all threw up in it. cleaning it out is on the top of my list, (i am NOT a slob, i just have some slobbish tendencies), but i was mortified that this woman saw my crap. and it made me think about my fear, and i decided that these things i don't want people to see... i guess i should contemplate them and make a list: "things that need to change" and "things that i am okay with, even if the manicure lady sees them." i'm not sure about my van in the long run, but it is getting a thorough cleaning today. well, but, it's cold out. maybe tomorrow.

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